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With Fran Northcutt, Honors Adviser, Hunter College of the City University of New York
HoH Video
of the Week
Dealing With Roommates
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Welcome to all you new freshmen out there - and congratulations on starting this wonderful new chapter in your life! Here at Hundreds of Heads, we've assembled lots of terrific advice - from peers all across the country, who survived their own freshman year experiences and have something interesting to say about them, to college counselors who have helped boatloads of freshmen navigate their way through the many new challenges you'll face this year. It's quick, it's free - and it'll be in your inbox once a week.

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Thanks!
The Hundreds of Heads Team


Roommates - Friends or Fiends?
HEAD Start
Your roommate can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Stick your head out the door and look down your hallway - you'll probably see sets of roommates acting out both extremes. And of course, lots of roommates are somewhere in between: not spending every minute together, but also not cursing each other out, stealing boyfriends/girlfriends, or playing malicious pranks.

HEAD Lines
Being friends with your roommate, or just managing to get along, will save your life this year. After all, your room is about the size of a large refrigerator. That's pretty close quarters for people who can't stand each other. Afraid of confrontation? Don't like conflict? Now's your chance to get over it. You don't have to wait passively to see how the roommate relationship unfolds - make your new home a happy one.

Sit down with your roomie and ask each other these questions:
  • Now that we see what our room is really like (tiny, and bursting at the seams with stuff) how clean is clean enough?

  • Who gets to sleep over? How often? (Be brutally honest on this one. In a nice way.)

  • Who gets to borrow what? What possessions are totally hands-off?

  • What are your pet peeves? If you can't stand whistling and your roomie can't stand people who say "anyhoo," it's good to find out now.
And last but not least, don't wait to settle the issue that has torn apart too many blossoming roommate friendships:
  • How much air freshener is too much? Because not everyone thinks that you can never have enough Pristine Jasmine fragrance in the air.
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From Other HEADS
THE ROOMMATE-SELECTION SURVEYS never ask questions that are meaningful enough to give you insight into how it's really going to be to live with someone. So just expect the unexpected and get ready to be flexible. According to the survey, my freshman-year roommate appeared to be a conservative who liked country music. She turned out to be a very dynamic and wild gal who kept me laughing throughout the year.

-- K. HARMA
WESTERN WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY


IN ORDER TO SURVIVE YOUR ROOMMATES, you have to be friendly and considerate. If you are nice, you will get treated the same way (and if you don't, then you have a reason to be treated like a jerk). Some people like living alone in singles, but I enjoy a crowd. Sure, it makes hooking up tricky (and hilarious) sometimes, but it also expands your social circle, and gives you lifelong friends - or enemies! It all depends on what kind of person you are.

-- PETE
PRINCETON UNIVERSITY


Web Resources
Check out some more roommate relations ideas from the Pennsylvania State University: www.sa.psu.edu/rl/pdf/Resolving%20_conflict.pdf


HoH Tips
  • Keep your RA in the loop. Your resident advisor can be a good resource. But don't expect him or her to just solve all your problems for you. RAs are trained to help roommates resolve their own problems. So yes, this means that if something is wrong, you'll still have to talk to your roommate about it.

  • When your roommate drives you crazy, take a deep breath and remind yourself: "I am building character." Then decide whether the problem is serious enough for you to take action, or just an everyday aggravation that you can live with. You must choose one or the other. Don't take the middle path of staying silent while inside the bitterness grows!
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