Here’s some advice on sharing the load from the book “How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year” (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $12.95), straight from people who’ve done it.

“At first, my wife got irritated with me when I would have her take the kids every time I needed to get something done. She pointed out that she didn’t have that luxury during the week when I was at work, and I should learn to deal with kids and life simultaneously. So, I’ve had to become more proficient at multitasking—a kid on the lap while at the computer, feeding the kids while talking on the phone.”
—J.R., Chicago, Ill., parent of two boys, 4 and 2, and one girl, 1

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“When it was just our first child, I did more of my share of housekeeping than I had normally done. (Of course, this would mean I had done something to begin with, so anything at that point was an improvement.) But housework was only half of what I needed to do to be helpful. You also have to make sure you’re there emotionally, with as much understanding as you can give.”
—David E. Liss, Pennington, N.J., father of two daughters, 4 and 1

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“When our children were born, I had a job that required inordinately long hours. But, when I finally did get home, I made it a point to plunge in. Sure, I was tired. But what about my wife, who had coped all day? I’d help with the baths, feedings, diaper changing, story time. I’d take care of them on my days off so my wife could get out by herself. It made a huge difference in my wife being able to survive the rigors of motherhood, and in my appreciation of her skills and talents in dealing with it all.”
—Douglas S. Looney, Boulder, Colorado, father of one son, 37, and one daughter, 34

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“When I got home from work, the first thing I did was pick up my boy to give my wife a break. When I did this on a regular basis, she stopped nagging me about petty little things. It’s a very worthwhile exchange.”
—Robert Harris, Los Angeles, Calif., father of one daughter, 26, and one son, 17

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“Since I did childcare while working from home on weekdays, my husband had full childcare responsibility (except for nursing, of course!) when he came home from work at night, and on weekends. Plus, he made dinner when he got home from work. When he told a female acquaintance about our arrangement, she said, ‘But you’ve been working all day! You need to rest!’ His reply: ‘So has she—at two jobs!’ Wonderful man!”
—Katharine O’Moore-Klopf, East Setauket, N.Y., mother of one daughter, 21, and two sons, 9 and 2

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© 2006, Hundreds of Heads Books, Inc.