Getting married? Here's some advice on introducing your parents to each other from the book "How to Survive Your In-Laws" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it:

 "Pick something like a barbecue or a holiday to introduce your families to each other. This is what my husband and I did the first time our parents met each other. It worked out well because everyone was well fed and in a good mood!"

 Julie, Babylon, N.Y.

 "Prepare a few topics for them to talk about. My fiance and I made a list that covered topics ranging from Major League Baseball teams to Christmas traditions to family summer vacation spots, in case things stumbled at the dinner table."

 "We had everyone, including grandparents, over for an engagement party. We kept it casual and had a cookout. I was on neutral turf at my fiancee's house; it wasn't like one family was entertaining the other. And we started the day by driving into Washington, D.C., for some sightseeing. The trip helped set the right tone because we had things to do; we didn't just have the families walk in the door and sit down on opposite couches and stare at each other."

 "The first time my husband's mother and my mother met, they had a lot in common: They both showed up wearing leopard-print sandals and similar outfits. The sandals definitely broke the ice!"

 "My mother first met my in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws' house. I was nervous about having them meet, and I wanted to make a good impression, so I volunteered to make a dessert. I ended up burning a chocolate-chip cheesecake while I was getting myself ready and waiting for my mother to arrive. My mother wisely baked an apple pie, and she then gave my mother-in-law the pretty cranberry-red baking dish it was made in."

 "Don't plan an elaborate dinner party for the first meeting. If there is tension, you are stuck there for hours looking down at your shoes. I had my in-laws meet my parents for a drink after work on a Friday at a little bar halfway between their homes. It was on neutral ground and somewhere neither couple had spent any significant time. They got along fine, but it would have been very easy and painless for one or the other to get up and leave without too much embarrassment if that had been necessary."

 A.P., Boardman, Ohio

 "Just be sure to tell your dad to be on his best behavior and to keep all his off-color jokes to himself. My dad had been in the Army and always seemed to be telling the wrong joke to people at the wrong time. But I got him to bite his tongue around my in-laws."

 P.S., Carnegie, Pa.

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