It's something every married couple has to face at some point.

There are two kinds of gifts that in-laws bestow on their children: Family heirlooms and new (or re-gifted) items. An item that has been passed down in the family may be ugly or random, but it has emotional significance for your in-laws, and may be important to your spouse, or your children, in the future. It is a good idea to accept it with grace and appreciation.

The other kind of gift—new stuff—reflects the giver’s taste and is a little trickier to deal with. My friend Jessica has asked her in-laws to call before stopping by. This is so she can bedeck her home with gifts given to her by her in-laws. She moves the “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder” mugs from her storage closet to the kitchen so she can serve her father-in-law a Bud in this classic vessel. Some would say she is perpetuating a bad gift-giving cycle, but I understand her conflict, as well as her solution.

I have never received a crocheted tea cozy, a hideous wall hanging, or any other random goody from the dollar store. My mother-in-law only buys thoughtful, lovely, and appropriate gifts. Many people I interviewed expressed horror at receiving in-law gifts that weren’t to their taste. Some actually gave the item back, feeling that they are being direct and honest that way.

Should it ever happen to me, I’ll take Jessica’s compromise—as long as I’ve got a large storage closet.