Every culture has its unique family traditions ...

Everyone has something interesting to say about in-laws, it seems. Recently, while I was having a pedicure, I heard a story from Grace, the esthetician. Grace, who is from Zimbabwe, told me that in her culture, a woman is expected to stay with her in-laws when she travels home. I didn’t really understand her: “So, you visit your in-laws when you go home to Africa?” I said.

“No”, Grace responded, “I visit my family from my in-laws’ house when I travel back to Africa. And my father and siblings live in a different town, so I don’t get to spend too much time with them. But in our society it would be considered rude and inappropriate to stay with my side.”

Grace has avoided traveling back home because it’s too stressful to try to squeeze her family into the plans. I couldn’t believe it: I imagined how different our relationship to our in-laws would be if we adopted this tradition. In a difficult situation, but one where there’s little choice in the matter, would we simply do our best to have a solid and respectable relationship with our in-laws?

Grace also told me that there’s a wedding tradition in which the bride travels from town to town to meet all of her new in-laws. She is seated in the center of the room while her new family dances around her and gives her gifts, treats, and money. Now, that sounds more like it!