Here's some advice on dealing with your husband is a mama’s boy, from the book "How to Survive Your In-laws" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it.
“My mother-in-law sees me just as someone who bore her two grandchildren. But my husband is like HER husband; he’s the guy in her life.”
—Anonymous, Chicago, years with in-laws: 6
———
“There may not be a solution to the mama’s-boy syndrome. The real issue seems to be the total flexibility of the son’s backbone, an amazing medical phenomenon. When said son is confronted with a decision that even remotely pressures him into choosing a path away from Mom, he falters. Your strong, level-headed, and loving mate turns five years old and gets scared of making Mommy mad. It’s very real and very frightening. When faced with a mama’s boy outbreak, practical tonics include deep breathing (four counts in and four counts out), Bikram yoga, a 12-mile run, shiatsu massage, a manicure/pedicure combo, or a quick chapter read of either The Onion’s latest book for comic relief or Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.”
—J.P., Seattle, years with in-laws: 6
———
“My husband is a perfect specimen of a mama’s boy. He looked to his mother to take care of everything, ranging from his laundry to where to attend college. She would visit him whenever she wanted, make his dinner, clean his apartment, do his shopping, or whatever she felt needed to be done. After we were married, she thought this behavior would continue. I quickly made it clear to my husband and mother-in-law that she would have to follow a new set of rules: mine. It was difficult, but it’s working out well. I still let her iron his shirts, though.”
—Wendy, Miami, years with in-laws: 7
———
“My husband would follow behind me and redo chores I had done around the house. He’d refold the towels the way his mother did, or take everything out of the dishwasher and reload it the way his mother did. So I went on strike and wouldn’t do his laundry or the dishes: if he was going to redo what I had already done, then he could do it his way and I wouldn’t bother. After about two weeks of dishes piling up in the sink and going without clean socks, he finally relented and promised to let me do things my way. It bothered me to no end to have a sink full of dirty dishes, but I was not giving in.”
—Shelley Beaumont, Grandview, Texas, years with in-laws: 4
———
© 2007, Hundreds of Heads Books, Inc.