Getting married? Here's some advice on how to enjoy your wedding if you've been married before from the book "Where to Seat Aunt Edna and 500 Other Great Wedding Tips" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it:

 "Do it the way you wanted it the first time. Go with your instinct. I had more control over the wedding the second time: it was smaller. And the rock on my finger was bigger: it went up a carat and a half."

 "Because this was a second wedding for both of us, we made all our plans together. It was fun to be creative and still plan a meaningful ceremony and day for us."

 "Second weddings are an anticlimax: You've been there, he's been there, and a lot of people at your wedding have been there with you. We didn't need to make a social statement or spend money. We didn't need presents to validate the union. I had 100 people in my house. We did almost all the cooking. I wanted this to be an extension of our home, of our love, of our circle. I didn't invite work friends, I didn't have distant relatives; I only had the people I wanted to be with me and wish me well."

 "I say you can wear white if you want to; the days of the Inquisition are over. If I can't wear white after my first wedding, what's next? Wear white, wear pink, wear thong underwear and show it to the crowd if you want. Who makes up these rules, anyway?"

 "People say second marriages should be smaller and less of a big deal. But I'm not so sure I agree. That's almost like giving up before you start, unless you just didn't have fun the first time. But my first wedding was great, and I thought of it very fondly, even if the marriage itself wasn't so great. I was happy for an excuse to do it all again _ have the big party, wear the tux, pretend that it was the first time. I'm glad we did that; I'm glad that the first wedding I had doesn't outshine the second in my memory."

 "I preferred my second, smaller wedding, with only 40 invited guests as opposed to more than 200 for the first. The big wedding was so stressful, cost so much, and took so long to plan. On top of that, there was so much going on, it was just a blur. At the small second wedding, there was no stress. We threw it together in three weeks, and it cost far less than the first one. It was just like having a party with many dear friends, and in the middle of it we got married."

 "When George and I were married, I was a divorcee and he was a widower, so we had both been through it before. This time, we really wanted it to be about us, not about the show, or the flowers, or the money we spent. We had just a few people, spent almost no money, and it was lovely! George's daughter picked flowers from her garden, we had a small party afterward, and we saved our money for the honeymoon, which is supposed to be the best part anyway."

 Hundreds of Heads Books' survival guides offer the wisdom of the masses by assembling the experiences and advice of hundreds of people who have gone through life's biggest challenges and have insight to share. Visit www.hundredsofheads.com to share your advice or get more information.

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