Here's some advice on rehearsal dinners (and dealing with family and friends) from the book "Where to Seat Aunt Edna and 500 Other Great Wedding Tips" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it.
“It’s traditional to do the rehearsal the night before the wedding, but we decided to do it a couple of nights before. For one thing, I wanted to have the day and night before the wedding to myself in case there were last-minute things that needed taking care of. Also, I didn’t want people to be drinking at the rehearsal and then be hungover for the wedding. This way, people could have a good time without worrying that the wedding was the next day.”
— Rachael Jackson, Dry Ridge, Ky.; Number of wedding guests: 160
———
“Don’t confuse the rehearsal dinner with a family dinner. The rehearsal is intended just for the wedding party, the minister, and your parents. You are not expected to pay for a dinner for all your friends and family. You’ll be doing that the next night. One of my brothers-in-law complained that he wasn’t invited to the rehearsal and I told him he could eat twice as much at the wedding if it made him feel better.”
—Leah Gerson, Zirkle, Va.
———
“Make bets with your prospective spouse about certain people: which relative will have the gall to wear white to the wedding and which to wear red; who will be the first person to spill red wine down the front of their clothes; the first to get drunk; the first to do the worm on the dance floor; the first to fall down. It helps take the pressure off.”
—Sue Grant, Greenford, Ohio; Number of wedding guests: 200
———
“We had too many good friends and relatives to include all of them in our wedding party or ceremony. So we used the rehearsal dinner to let some older relatives and friends feel like they were an important part of the weekend. We asked them to do specific things, such as give a speech, make a toast, sing a song, or help us greet people.”
—Luz, San Diego, Calif.; Number of wedding guests: 220
———
“At our rehearsal dinner, one of my husband’s friends got up and spontaneously delivered the most inappropriate speech ever — about my husband’s past girlfriends! I don’t know how you could prevent this sort of thing, but maybe you should have somebody on alert to help out in such ‘emergencies.’ I wish somebody had just sat him down and made some joke to ease the tension.”
—K.C., San Francisco, Calif.
———
© 2007, Hundreds of Heads Books, Inc.