Married? Here's some advice on marriage and religion from the book "How to Survive Your Marriage" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it:

“Most important characteristic for a good marriage partner: same religion or spiritual beliefs. My husband and I are Jewish. I didn’t go looking for a Jewish man to marry and my parents didn’t require it of me. But when we met, we just knew that we were right for each other, and having the same religion made our bond even stronger. Marriage is tough enough without having to argue over religion or spiritual beliefs.”
—E.G., New Haven, Conn., married 27 years

———

“There’s no greater feeling than having your spouse sitting with you at church. I went a year without him. Now it’s been about a year with him. At first, he didn’t want to go. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to change his mind, and didn’t want to be too pushy. I had to let him go at his own pace. We had a barbecue and invited everyone from church. He liked the people. He started coming. It was a bonding experience. Now, we have the same standards.”
—D.D., Bridgeport, N.Y., married 3 years

———

“When I met my spouse, she was a practicing Christian. I’m an atheist, but I’ve always respected her religious beliefs. She respected mine, and thus it was never an issue. We both believed that religion was a personal thing, and people had to find the path that worked for them. If we went to her family’s house for dinner, I would bow my head while her father would give prayer before a meal. It wasn’t that I was praying, but rather respecting his family’s religious beliefs.”
—John Rodgers, Seattle, married 10 years

———

“I would never marry someone who didn’t put God first. Having similar beliefs has helped us learn together. When I don’t understand something I read in the Bible, I ask my husband. Then, we talk about it. Praying together, which we do, clues us into what the other is thinking. It would be 100 times more difficult if we didn’t share the same religious beliefs.”
—Teri Burns, Syracuse, married 2 months

———

“We share the same views and it has helped us a lot. If nothing else, it gives us something to discuss. We’re Buddhist and, often, aspects of the Dharma are left to interpretation, so we discuss it and usually come to a mutual conclusion. When we do disagree, it’s usually a matter of ‘that’s who you are’ and we let it go.”
—Staci Priest, Pflugerville, Texas, married 6 years

———

© 2007, Hundreds of Heads Books, Inc.