Every person is unique. Match the school to your child's gifts.

College-application time is a major period of personal assessment for your child. He has to ask himself: Who am I? What do I love and value? What do I want to do with my life?

These are philosophical, self-defining moments in his life. It is your moment to talk to him about his dreams and help him plan the path to achieving them; however, it is also the time to help him find something that will be achievable. It is sad to watch parents push their students to apply to schools where admissions chances are extremely low, or where the school and the student are not a good match.

If you know your son is not going to be an Olympic athlete or the next Yo Yo Ma, then help him find a place where he does not have to be a superstar. If he has struggled with academics, point him toward schools where he can get extra support and where they will be happy to take him with his less-than-4.0 GPA. If your child is artistic, help him find a place to express his creativity.

Your love, support and motivation for his dreams are critical to his self-esteem. The flip side of that coin is that it is also healthy parenting to guide your child to places where he will thrive instead of flounder. Of course, reach for the stars—just know your child and his needs.