To help your child with their college applications, you need to take stock of your own feelings.

Take time to investigate your own expectations, values, and biases about both the application process and your child's success. Are there certain schools you secretly—or
not so secretly—wish he could attend? Is there a magic test score you want him to achieve?

While you want the best for your child, you should be honest with yourself about what you really wish will happen. It is better to see, recognize, and process any selfish needs you may
have so you can recognize it when your expectations are being unfairly put onto your child.

As all parents do, you have hopes and dreams for him, but you will all be happier if you can be honest about whether your child shares them. Putting your expectations on him may, in fact, harm your child through unrealistic pressure. Your dream school, in fact, could be a mismatch. The car window decal that would make you proud could mean a miserable four years for your child. Set goals and share your dreams, but adjust your expectations to fit his dreams and ability.