How to keep the peace with your roommate, and maybe even make friends.
Having a roommate you click with can be the best part of college life. Having a roommate that you don’t get along with can be the worst part of college life. But if you follow these rules, you might get by.
- Be honest on your roommate form (“Do you smoke?”) or you may end up with someone you don’t get along with.
- Have a discussion with your roommate about room rules concerning boyfriends/girlfriends and random hook-ups – “No one after 11 p.m.,” “Hook-ups allowed in the dorm room only on the weekends,” “Sock on the door knob means do not come in for the next 30 minutes, please,” etc. Write down these rules and put in an accessible place for reference.
- Smoking, cleaning, smelly food, foul laundry: These are top roommate complaints. Talk about these issues with your roommate and try to come to agreements on how to handle them.
- Don’t live with your high school friends if you’re at the same school; you’re not in high school anymore, and those arrangements rarely end well.
- Follow this rule: If you want to do something loud (like playing music, or partying), and your roommate wants to do something quiet (like studying, or sleeping), quiet should most always win. You’ll appreciate it when you’re on the quiet side.
- “Roommates who clean together stick together.” (We don’t know if it’s true, but it can’t hurt!)
- Hold monthly meetings with your roommate with the caveat that you MUST show up with at least one complaint about each other. This will save you the awkwardness of bringing up a legitimate complaint at a random time.
- Soften all of your complaints with a compliment, or several compliments; never add an insult to your complaint. “I really like you and think you’re a really giving roommate…” tends to open up the listener to hear what else you have to say. “You must be an idiot. I can’t stand you …” tends to close down the listener; what you say after doesn’t matter all that much.
- When in doubt, put on a movie and watch it with your roommate. It promotes bonding and seems to make most problems fade away.
- If you and your roommate are at odds and cannot overcome them, don’t be afraid to request a room change.