Name: MaryAnn Gender: Male Age: 51 HOH Score: 3

Rate this answer:       (1 votes) Re: Empty Nest Syndrome = therapy? There are many options. A friend of mine who had been through it told me that I'd start to feel the real effects after about three months once the kids were gone. And she was right. She told me to feel free to call her anytime to talk. Which I did. But I found that talking to others just wasn't making me feel as good as I'd hoped. So I joined a support group for empty nesters in our area. My huband wouldn't go with me so I had to go alone. I think the biggest advantage is that you can see all these other parents face to face and hear their stories first-hand rather than just hearing the voice of one of your friends on the phone. I think that creates a personal bond that really helps.

Name: AuntTre Gender: Female Age: 45 HOH Score: 74

Rate this answer:       (4 votes) RE: Empty Nest Syndrome = therapy? If you think you would benefit from therapy, then go. But I found that the empty nest experience was simply another challenge in life that had to be allowed to run its course. It's loss, whether you are prepared for an empty nest or not, and loss equals pain and requires a period of grieving. You have to let yourself experience that loss and to grieve. Then comes the next phase of recovering, looking at what you still have, looking forward to life as a parent to independent adult(s), being able to explore that new freedom. You have to more or less learn to live for yourself first again, after umpty-bumpty years of putting your children at the forefront of your life, and your wheels are probably rusty, but you can do it! Plan to try one new thing or go to some new place every single week at the minimum. Plan and do things that you could not do before because you had kids at home. You'll be surprised how much enjoyment there is in finding yourself again as an individual, and amazed at all the little things you gave up in being a 24/7 parent. Even something as silly as being able to walk around the house naked, or buying the crunchy peanut butter you love after 22 years of eating smooth because that's what the kids liked, is delightful. Play your music as loud as you like, paint the walls any color you like, make the foods that you like, please yourself first. For me, the grief lasted about two years, easing a bit every month; afterward, I began to feel as I did as a young woman with my first apartment and first real job: independent, excited, eager for adventure, and FREE. I love my kids deeply and am still close to them, but being on my own again after a quarter century is turning out to be a very energizing and life affirming experience! Plus the added benefit of living my own life is that my kids want to talk to me to find out what I am up to, and hear about my life as well as share their own with me. We have far more enjoyable conversations and visits now that I am no longer sitting at home missing them and waiting for them to call or visit.

Name: modcon Gender: Female Age: 54 Living In: buffalo HOH Score: 76

Rate this answer:       (2 votes) RE: Empty Nest Syndrome = therapy? After being a single parent for 20 years with just the one child, I thought I'd feel a great sense of relief when I finally raised him and he became independent. This great feeling lasted about a month. Then reality hit me -- the house was too quiet, and I missed his friends, the music, the activities, cooking for him, etc. How did I deal with the Empty Nest Syndrome? By reaching out to others and getting out of the house. I got a pet rat who was cheap and intelligent but he stunk as they sweat like humans. I got a little terrior dog but found out terriors are mostly neurotic extremely needy creatures who bark all the time and do bite. So I got rid of both pets and Started Setting Goals for Myself and started to Nurture Myself and that set the wheels in motion. I made the changes I wanted to see in my life, and now I am achieving my dreams and goals and am too busy enjoying myself to be missing my son. I moved out of state over 2000 miles away, he came to visit me on vacation and we had a great time. He went back to his place and he is working, being frugal, saving money, even has extra jobs on side, he isn't dating which saves money, he sees his friends lives a mess as they don't have college or good jobs. He is saving to get an engineering degree on top of 2 associate degrees. I am so glad I was able to help him become independent of me, even though at times you do miss them. A son must become a man. A daughter must become a woman. And this means their learning independence. You must be strong in today's world -- the weak do not survive, or they live low-quality lives. Thank yourself your children were able to wean themselves and to become productive adults, which is getting rarer and rarer nowadays in today's world of boomerang adult children who keep returning home to live with their parents.

Name: phyll Gender: Female Age: 60 Living In: manalapan HOH Score: 55.7

Rate this answer:       (2 votes) RE: Empty Nest Syndrome = therapy? I think although it is never easy and therapy is an option sometimes in life we have to remember why we had children in the first place- which was to hopefully raise them to be happy, independent, extraordinary people who can enjoy this world for what it is. And always remember to know your children and ask them lots of questions so you dont miss out on their life the minute you dont see them everyday.

Name: JudyD Gender: Female Age: 50 Living In: LAS VEGAS HOH Score: 61

Rate this answer:       (1 votes) RE: Empty Nest Syndrome = therapy? New here. No answers yet as my son just pulled out of the driveway hours ago. Sure is great to read about all these ideas though.

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