When the kids head off to school it means navigating a new relationship with their parents...while at school and at home. Here is the perspective from the students.
In college? Here’s some advice about adjusting to being away from family from the book “How to Survive Your Freshman Year” (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $14.95), straight from people who’ve done it:
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“Go to school away from home and away from your parents. But let them into your life. Be friends with them.”
— Ginger M. Brodtman, Spring Hill College, 1998 graduate
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“I’m really close to my family. They drove me up here and we all cried. After they left, I was excited to be at school. I was ready to get away from my parents, experience life by myself, and be able to make my own decisions. I immediately had 25 friends, which were the girls on my hall, so I didn’t miss them at first. But by mid-semester I was extremely homesick. I suddenly realized that my life was never going to be the same. I called home a lot and talked to my parents all the time. My dad e-mailed me every single day, and he always said, ‘P.S. Take your vitamins, go to church, and pray.’ Talking to them really helped me.”
— A.G.H., University of Virginia, senior
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“If you go home for the summer, make sure you go on vacation. I had to take trips by myself because I cannot be around my parents all the time. I realize they are real people and not all their habits are ones I want to live with. Separating from your parents is part of growing up and becoming a better person. You have to figure out what you want to be as a person, as opposed to what your parents are.”
— S., University of California at Santa Barbara, freshman
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“You’ve got to be honest with your parents. You’ve got to break them in. If you do bad stuff, you got to let them know; they’re going to find out anyway, so you might as well be honest about it. If you tell them the way it is, they’ll get used to it. When you’re visiting your parents you have to go by their rules in their house, but at the same time you can’t be expected to follow every rule, especially if you’re a college student.”
— Beth, Diablo Valley College, freshman
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“The thing with parents is that, nine times out of ten, they love you and they want to help you. If they get a little protective when you go away, it’s because they don’t know how to deal with it. Help them through it. Be patient with them.”
— B., George Washington University, senior
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“Your parents will let go of a lot once you leave for college, but swearing (especially f-bombs) when you’re home on visits won’t be well received.”
— D.D., University of Pennsylvania, 1989 graduate
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Hundreds of Heads Books’ survival guides offer the wisdom of the masses by assembling the experiences and advice of hundreds of people who have gone through life’s biggest challenges and have insight to share.
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© 2007, Hundreds of Heads Books, Inc.