My son has been out of college for six months now and will come home for the holidays. We're very proud of him, and I want to forge a new relationship with him. Tips?

Speaking from the perspective of the child I feel the best way to forge a new relationship is to accept your son as he is-respecting where he has been, being willing to learn from him as well as being able to teach him new things, and being ready to hear him out or let him have his privacy when needed.

The Holidays are a great time to start a new tradition - think of a new ritual for everyone to be a part of, including your son, and it will announce a new era.

I do more listening and less talking because my kids have more to talk about. Each of our children offers new perspectives on situations that affect the world, and our dinner conversations are truly interesting. It is terrific to see them taking charge and identifying what they want out of life. I am amused at their discoveries. For example: "Gas is too expensive. It is cheaper to walk/ride a bike." "Laundry takes forever to do." "Bhuddists have really good ideas." "Nothing is free." "This really is my life." "Drinking and drugs, it's all about choice." "Life is not always fair, get over it and move on."

I bite my tongue and try not to criticize!

I try to keep the doors of communication open and I try very hard to NOT impose my views on them. It is sometimes hard to not take control and just say – do this or that. But I have learned the hard way that is not the best way to handle things. I want to always be there for my children, but I do NOT want to control their lives or ever want them to have to avoid me because I am too annoying. My biggest regret, and it is so hard for me to even think about, is the way that I handled my daughter’s engagement. If I could change one thing in my life, that would be it. If I could do it over, I would celebrate her engagement and embrace my son-in-law. I realize now she made a very good choice, and I wish I would have realized that a few months sooner. But, it was good when I let go and just accepted the idea of a wedding and that my home would be different without her. I realized that I was not losing her, just letting her grow up, which is a natural thing to do. I realize now that I was selfish and wanted to keep her with me forever!