Here’s some advice on talking with your teen from the book “How to Survive Your Teenager” (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who’ve done it:

“My older son got in trouble at school. It was hard not to freak out, but we thought it was more important to talk rather than mandate, to keep the dialogue open; to doggedly ask the same questions over and over. Sometimes you don’t want to hear the answers, but keep asking. ‘Where were you? Who were you with? What did you do?’ I can’t tell you how many late-night conversations I had like this with my boys. I would go to work bleary-eyed in the morning.”

—F.M., Long Branch, N.J., parent to two boys, 28 and 25

“Sometimes my kids say I ask too many questions. But I say, ‘It’s my right as a parent.’”

—Duane Stone, Miami, Fla., parent to two daughters, 24 and 18

“One question parents ask over and over is, ‘How can I be a good parent in the two minutes I have left each day?’ Instead of fighting, my son and I recently found a much more productive way to deal with our anger: We take a timeout and write each other letters. It’s calming and reassuring, because it gives us both the chance to organize our thoughts and say what we really mean.”

—Robyn Muramoto, Centennial, Colo., parent to one son, 15, and one daughter, 13

“Explain to teens why you want them to do something, and be honest with yourself as well as your kids. For example, a mom in the parenting class I teach came to me and said she was having a struggle with her son, who wanted to be out with his friends every night. I asked her why this bothered her. ‘Because he needs to rest,’ she said. I asked her ‘why’ a few more times, trying to get to the real heart of the issue. ‘Because I miss him,’ she said, finally. ‘Did you ever tell him that?’ I asked. She admitted that she hadn’t, and I suggested that maybe telling him why she really wanted him to be home would be a powerful motivator.”

—Susie Walton, San Diego, Calif., parent to four sons, 28, 26, 24 and 22

“The biggest fights I’ve had with my teens are when they feel misunderstood. It’s hard to do, but try to slow down and understand what they are feeling. The issue will be resolved faster, and with less pain.”

—Anne Smalley, Woodbury, N.J., parent to two daughters, 19 and 15

Hundreds of Heads Books’ survival guides offer the wisdom of the masses by assembling the experiences and advice of hundreds of people who have gone through life’s biggest challenges and have insight to share.