Here's some advice on helping your teen in school from the book "How to Survive Your Teenager" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $13.95), straight from people who've done it:

“Check their homework and tests, long before the report card comes. One son who normally got great grades in math came home with a D on his report card. We hadn’t noticed the deterioration in his grades because we’d been too complacent. We stayed on top of his grades, and our daughter’s, after that, even when we thought they were doing well.

— Jen W., San Carlos, Calif., mother of two sons, 24 and 22, and one daughter, 19

“School was a brave new world for my teenager. He started realizing that girls are quite different, and became totally distracted. It was difficult for him to remember to bring home the right English book, but, he could simultaneously sit at a computer, e-mail, instant message, speak on the cell phone, and entertain whoever was at our house.

“Don’t let other parents make you feel guilty about your decisions. I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I have been lectured by other parents who believe we should’ve made our sons take out student loans and pay their own tuition. My husband and I felt that putting our sons through college was something we could give them in life that they’d always have. As for the argument that paying their own way would teach them responsibility? Please: They already had plenty of responsibilities — to their classes, to their friends, and to their teammates.

“We try to help our daughter handle pressure by setting realistic goals and expectations. We do not expect top grades all the time, for example. We are happy if teachers’ comments indicate she is working. We try to focus on what our child does very well, such as violin and drums, and the wonderful network of friends she has established, rather than giving the impression she has to be perfect at everything.

— Brenda Kilgore, Phoenix, Canberra, Australia, mother of one daughter, 15

Hundreds of Heads Books’ survival guides offer the wisdom of the masses by assembling the experiences and advice of hundreds of people who have gone through life’s biggest challenges and have insight to share.