Culled from our book, "How to Survive Your Teenager"

So, what's it really like to live with a teenager? We asked other parents about the moment they realized a teenager was haunting the halls of their house.

Late one night, my son had a nightmare and called out. I woke up, ran down the hall, opened his door, and screamed: I saw the shadow of a man standing by his bed. My husband came running down the hall, asking, “What’s the matter?” I said, “There’s a man in his room!” My husband turned on the light: It was my son! In my mind he was still a child. It really took me by surprise.
CAREN MASEM
GREENSBORO, NORTHCAROLINA

I first realized teens were now living under my roof when the phone started to ring more often and the rooms got messier. As soon as they were teenagers, they didn’t know how to hang up clothes. Everything was on the floor!
—RHONDA SYRTASH
THORNHILL, ONTARIO, CANADA

It was obvious my kid was a teen because of the change in attitude and the secrecy. Teens are trying to become independent and they start to pull away by not sharing every little thing and by questioning your authority. The trick is to teach them to be independent and respectful. And when you master this, please let me know!
—KIMERA BROWN
CLEVELAND, OHIO

He answers the phone and everyone thinks it’s me. The bedroom door is closed and locked all the time. He wears Band-Aids on his face to cover the pimples. And he wears the uniform—the cap with the bill squished in, and his pants start slipping down lower so you can see the boxers.
—C.W.
BOULDER, COLORADO

I would never have believed it, but boys get periods, too. Not literally, but I swear boys have mood swings and raging hormones, just like girls do.
—ANONYMOUS
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA

I knew he was a teenager when we played a new game in his room called “Find the floor.” Fashion became a one-word oxymoron. Baggy pants, $100 sneakers, and a T-shirt that always featured some odd message. His appetite exploded. Actually, I think I gained weight watching him eat! He just pounded it down, and never got fat. When he moved away to college, I did not lose a son: I gained a refrigerator!
—BOBFITZSIMMONS

It’s harder to get through the teenage years than a boy. You have a sweet little girl and suddenly this lurking, teenage horror will pop out, probably when something traumatic is happening in your own life. My daughter and I would have a fight about something inconsequential and suddenly she was leaping up from the dinner table and finding the nearest door to slam. Then she wouldn’t speak to me for days at a time and I was left wondering why. They will outgrow this: the problem is, you never quite remember that while it’s happening.
—SHARONLONDON
SANFRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA

I knew I was living with teenagers when I started talking to them through the crack of their doors and when they started getting up at the crack of noon. My 15-year-old’s appetite is so crazy that after we go food shopping he just sticks a straw in the refrigerator door and sucks everything out in one slurp! Half an hour later, he’s complaining that there’s nothing to eat in this house.
—PAMELABODLEY
YONKERS, NEWYORK

One of my daughters put all her tomboy gear away. It was the same time she started taking more interest in her appearance, including asking me about the virtues of makeup. She also started hanging around more with her girl friends instead of playing baseball or basketball with the boys. Her wardrobe got completely revamped. Gone were the T-shirts and jeans and in their place were blouses and skirts. For a while I thought a new kid had moved into my house.
—JANEYASKO
BOARDMAN, OHIO

Suddenly you, the parent, are no longer important. Their friends become important. And you can be as open with them as you want, but they will hide things from you. My daughter was pretty open with a lot of things. At 15, all of a sudden boys would start coming over and hanging on every word she said. She was pretty open with what was going on—her friends having sex and all that. But then she closed off and wouldn’t allow me to know things. When she turned 16, she started hiding things and sneaking out of the house. All you can do is hope that all those things you taught them in the years before will remain in their head; and you can’t be so strict because then they’ll rebel totally.
—PATWILLIAMS