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Teen drama
It seems that when we tell our daughter NO to something, she makes us feel like we're ruining her life. Our daughter just spent two days with her friend over the Halloween holiday. She came home this morning and by this afternoon, she wanted to go to another friend's house. We told her no because she had chores and her laundry to do. Once she got done mouthing off at us, she tried to start in with us again for round two, and when we asked her to leave until she could use kind words with us, she said, "Go die!" What the hell??? That hurt...it really did. We just don't know what to do sometimes! Any parents out there that have a teen daughter that makes you feel like they hate your living guts if you tell them NO?
Thursday, November 06, 2008
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Name:
charlie14
Gender:
Male
Age:
37
Living In:
geneva
RE: Teen drama
Greetings, the quick answer is yes...oh my god yes! how do you like the big "SO" you get when you tell her she just got home?....my daughter is 16 and is the sweetest little thing you ever met to me and her mom until the "word" is spoken ,once the "word" is uttered grab your combat helmet and dig a foxhole cuz you might as well have thrown a grenade into your living room! Im 35 and I was a jerk at times to my folks but I cant believe what kids think is o.k to say to their parents..and not expect a "following of consequence"..It truly amazes me..the real tuff part is their ability to drive a wedge between mom and dad based on her salespitch of whos being more overly dramatic.The task Im concentrating on presently is getting us to realize OUR DAY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BAD CUZ SHES HAVING A BAD DAY..it does no good to argue for any extended period because teenagers will never stop, their like the energizer bunny and we'll get so worn down we'll have to remind ourselves how it even started!!...I told my daugher once that she will earn no's for bad behavior and when i use them I dont have to give an explanation..she just gets a no. but at least she knows I dont have to talk about it..she earned it..good luck mastering that though..good luck period!...Pat
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
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Name:
Yendi
Gender:
Female
Age:
49
RE: Teen drama
I have a similar teen. Very very sweet girl but the word no causes her to turn in to some other person. We tell her this is not a democracy. We make the decisions. However, we will listen to her fully first..so that she is able to have input. Then we tell her the reasons why we made the decision. She does Not get to debate this. Sometimes she will come back to us with a constructive solution to our objections. Then of course we may reconsider. But as another poster mentioned...her bad day does not have to be yours as well. You might say to her: I'm sorry that my decision disappoints you..but my job as a good parent is to ensure your safety...not to be popular. Keep in mind..she is almost an adult...almost. So more and more of her decisions need to be turned over to her..so that she can have practice making them..while she still has the safety net of home. Tough road to balance on. Good luck to you.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
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Name:
Geebs
Gender:
Female
Age:
51
RE: Teen drama
I can only hope if I treated my mom as poorly that at almost 90 she no longer remembers (we have a wonderful relationship now). I look at my daughter sometimes and wonder what happened to the child we raised. This is not her. She's ok until we tell her she can't go out, or use the car. Her response is not what I consider "normal" - saying that she hates it there (has never said she hates us, but to me it's the same) and has to leave. She really acts like a bully to us. She will turn 18 soon, and reminds us often that when that happens she doesn't have to abide by a curfew, etc. She of course doesn't realize that it goes both ways; at 18 we are no longer legally responsible for what she may do, but of course while she lives in our house she has to abide by our rules. This is her senior year in high school & I can't seem to make her understand that she needs to focus and take school a bit more seriously if she's going to have any future.
Monday, October 12, 2009