My teen is eating me out of house and home. And she's gaining weight. Any tips?

For a while my daughter was doing too much snacking, but she put on weight and decided to eat more sensibly. Now she is very pleased with herself. I think the extra snacking came with the ups and downs of dealing with teen-related issues. I found that the best way to handle it was to let her handle it herself. She felt especially good about her success because she brought it about all by herself.

A little moderation might be better than strict rules when it comes to teenagers and eating. My daughter doesn’t have rules about what she can and can’t eat. If she chooses pizza over broiled chicken or chocolate s’mores over fresh fruit, we tell ourselves that eventually she’ll realize healthy choices make healthy bodies. In contrast, one of her best friend’s parents have hard-and-fast food rules. That girl gets little pizza and no chocolate treats at her house. What her parents don’t know is that the last time she spent the night at our house, she drank three Sprites before breakfast.

Teens love convenience. If you have healthy foods ready to go, like good leftovers ready to nuke and healthy snacks, they really will eat them. When we finally stopped buying the junky convenience foods and had nothing in the house but healthier choices, that’s what our kids started eating.

The list is always being added to. Sometimes we cross things out. Our teens can add things too, provided their additions are realistic and mature (as our rules are). The list covers everything from curfews to laundry to dinner rules to music. It's a big list!

My husband and I have always had high expectations for our four kids. They have always had chores to do, and they are expected to do them.

Assign chores to do. One of my daughters is responsible for emptying out the two cat litter boxes, while the other daughter feeds the cats and changes their water. Along the same lines, one daughter empties the dishwasher, while the other daughter fills it. My teenage daughter sometimes does laundry, as well. They don’t get allowances for these jobs; they’re just expected to do them as members of the family.

Just let them keep their room in any condition they want. It’s not going to help anyone for you to keep screaming about them not picking up stuff in there. It’s their room and they should be able to do what they want with it and live in it however they see fit. In the rest of the house it’s a different story. You can’t let them be a slob in the living room or the kitchen. Those are your rooms.