On the dating scene? Here's some advice on who pays from the book "How to Survive Dating" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com, $12.95), straight from people who've done it:

“If you ask someone out on a date, you need to be the person who pays for the date, regardless of whether you are male or female. Women should offer to pay, even on the first date. Say something like, ‘Can I help you with that?’ If the guy is worth his salt, he will never take you up on it (at least, not on the first date). But it gives the guy the impression that you’re gracious.”

—Wendie Karel, Chandler, Ariz.

“Think the person who asks should pay. They can also agree (in advance) to both pay for themselves, but it’s important to know where you’re going. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell someone, ‘That’s above my budget,’ if he suggested something that really was out of my range.”

—Alison Blackman Dunham, Brooklyn, N.Y.

“The asker should pay on the first date. If the person who was asked out then pays, it seems like mooching. And if you pay equally, it feels more like a friendly outing than a date.”

—Steven Glassman, Delray Beach, Fla.

“Guys should always pay (or try to) because girls spend most of their money on clothes.”

“I am a fan of chivalry and of gentlemen who know how to treat a lady, but I think the question of who pays depends on the situation and the person. I have no qualms about paying for my dinner, but I do like to be treated, and I do enjoy a man spoiling me. Also, when you work in nonprofit like I do, the rule of thumb is, ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!’”

—Therese Pope, Sacramento, Calif.