Blah blah blah. So many rules about how to date and who to date and how to make it work. Show some attitude but not too much attitude. Show some leg but not too much leg. Jesus, it's like living inside a Jackie Mason monologue.

HOWEVER, sometimes someone breaks it all down so it's as easy to swallow as sweet tea. Like Dr. Blue, Star 94's call-in therapist, whose new book, Dr. Blue's Guide to Making Relationships Work, is a user-friendly manual of dos and don'ts. It's even got pictures. Each two-page spread features a feel-good photo of a giddy couple roughhousing opposite bullet points of the wrong and right ways to fight fair or set realistic goals. This actually makes the book feel like a phys-ed textbook, and I would have preferred a bit more irony. But the point is to make it easy to grasp. Application is another matter.

When I met with Dr. Blue at his Sandy Springs office, he said relationships work like so: We're all wounded and sensitive and complicated in our own weird ways, so we must develop empathy. Relationships die because people fear rejection and conflict, bottling up emotions that build resentment and shut partners down. So be respectful when you hash out your issues.

Also, the lust factor — Dr. Blue believes physical attraction is critical and almost always instantaneous.

There was also this — a placard in Dr. Blue's office with the saying, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." He says people sabotage their future when they try to map it out too much — to marry the safe, predictable one when, hey, guess what, life's not predictable. So don't strategize about mating; live in the moment, where there is truth and risk and consequently great reward. And even if the relationship does not last, how can you regret a life in which decisions were made authentically, that is, in the moment?

Now, I have no professional expertise, but this is my column so here are my rules:

1. Unless you're so evolved that you're immune to jealousy or self-pity, stop reading the Sunday "vows" section of The New York Times.

2. On that note, setting up two people just because they're both have one thing in common (like religion) doesn't cut it. Neither does the old saying, "look, you never know…" Sometimes you do know.

3. Never be anything but yourself. He or she is going to unravel the mystery eventually. So, while I think it's gross when men appear topless in their JDate pictures, maybe that's the image that will nab their soul mates. And, by the way, thank you to all the nude JDate men for displaying yourselves in all your glory so that we don't waste two hours and $5 worth of lattes together.

4. Stop whining. Relationships are going to take work, so unless you're sufficiently miserable or, God forbid, in any kind of emotional or physical danger, work on it. And if you're single, well, enjoy the discovery of what's ahead.

5. Believe in love. I've seen it happen in so many ways among so many people. The moments in the movies? They've got nothing on what can happen in real life. This is why God gave us goose bumps, just to make sure we're paying attention. And when real life gives way to magic, well, it's just like that placard in Dr. Blue's office.