Dear Reader,

This is not my first relationship column. I was 11 the first time around, dispensing advice to made-up inquiries from the lovelorn in the Camp Blue Star newspaper. Twenty years later (and still single), I hope I can offer you wiser dollops of dating do's and don'ts and that I may actually receive real letters this time.

First off, I'd like to pay tribute to the grand pooh-bah of advice columnists, or at least my favorite, E. Jean of Elle magazine, who is as hilarious as she is smart. If you're a single woman, read her to get comfortable with throw-your-head-back confidence -- always an alluring quality, dating or not. That said, welcome to my version! I hope you enjoy my observations and opinions and take them with a fat grain of kosher salt.

I know, it's not easy to meet someone. And even harder to find a lasting relationship. But for now, let's just start with meeting. Since I'm single, too, I obviously don't know the answers, but I've been at this long enough to pick up a few tricks:

1. The supermarket is a meat market. Where else are there tons of singles stuck debating the merits of deodorant or frozen food? This is an ideal opportunity to weigh in on their internal monologue with a helpful tip like "Dove leaves no filmy residue" or "Those pineapples are to die for!"

2. Travel whenever possible. Changing your perspective is not only good for the soul, but offers new prospects. And while you're out of your routine, you're likely more open to a chance encounter. Also, there's the factor of serendipity -- the unexpected is generally good for romance.

3. Do what you like to do. This is an oldie but a goodie. If you're enjoying yourself playing tennis or backgammon or the violin, you'll meet others who share your passion. You'll be having so much fun that you'll be irresistible. Plus, you'll be nurturing yourself so you'll make for a happier and more interesting mate.

4. Get online. Online dating works. JDate's spokeswoman, for example, told me the company receives between 30 and 40 letters each month from people who have met someone special on the site. Write a profile you're proud of and focus on the photo. No pictures where you are half-nude, blurry or 50 feet from the camera.

5. Get past "chemistry." It's a tenuous thing that ebbs and flows with the strength of the relationship. If you like someone, there's a chance you might -- to borrow a phrase from my 11-year old advice-giving self -- "like them-like them."

6. Tune in to your gut. This is a tough one that comes more easily for some than others. Get out of your head and live in the moment. This helps you realize your true feelings and grounds you in the right decision.

7. Invest in friends. First of all, they offer joy and insulation from life's rough spots. But also, they have friends. The more you extend your circles of friendship, the more likely you are to meet your match.

8. Exercise. It's good for you. It makes you look good. And it strengthens your mind as much as your body. Swap out your sweats for a cute alternative. Spandex has its advantages.

9. Rethink your checklist. Cut people some slack (but not too much slack). So what if they misspell their own name in an e-mail? Focus on the big stuff, like how someone treats you and makes you feel.

10. Finally, and most important, remember this: Being single is not a bad thing. It is far worse to be mired in an unhealthy romance when you can enjoy a vibrant and fulfilling relationship with friends, family and, of course, yourself.

Send me your questions atrpomerance@gmail.com, and we'll talk in Column No. 2. Happy dating!