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Dating

Getting Serious, Dude

An anonymous Atlanta writer blogs about his experiences getting serious with a new girlfriend, and what all daters can learn from it,

Thanksgiving with your lover, or with family?

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Awkward moment: The Lady and I were casually mentioning what we normally do over the holidays. We both visit our families, hers in Virginia and mine in the outskirts of Atlanta. Then, the question sat there, unsaid, for several moments:

"What are you doing for the holidays this year?"

It's been a while since I've been in a serious relationship over the holidays. And this serious relationship is relatively new - I have met her folks, briefly, and she has had dinner at my parents' house. But we have kept the parental contact very limited. But the holidays - how can you avoid it?

I want her to hang at my house and experience those magnificently boring lulls in the day that happen on Thanksgiving. I want her to give my little brother a hard time with me. I want her to taste my mother's homemade noodles, which are atrocious (sorry Mom!).

She wants me to hang out with her dad on his deck, before a fire, and listen to his stories about hunting. (I don't want to, and probably never will, ever kill an animal.) She wants her mother to treat me like the son she never had.

So, what do we do?

Well, actually, I have very little money for travel. But she's still driving up to visit her parents, while I stay down here with my family. Four days, we'll be apart. The way we figure it, if we really are serious, we'll have plenty of time to visit with the other's family in the months and, possible, years to come. Also, it's always good to take a break from your lover, get some perspective on things, and come back together to discuss.
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