Seven people piled in a Suburban with suitcases, tailgating supplies and one highly fought over neck pillow makes for a cozy (read: rather cramped) ride. But that was only for 2.5 hours, the shortage of personal space would last for the coming 36 hours. Yes, a football road trip maximizing fun with minimal costs. Which means an eventful hotel stay (of course in one room) with friends Richard, William, Allison, Mandy, John and Cole (our seventh wheel).
The lovely smell of cigarette smoke greeted us in our Travelodge room while one of throw-up (from the fans who arrived earlier that day) consumed the outdoor walkway. Needless to say, the Travelodge certainly isn’t competing for more AAA stars.
Granted, the majority of our time wasn’t spent in the room, but some of the weekend’s most memorable events happened right there. Everything from showering to my morning wake-up had a new twist.
Returning from downtown on Friday night, we stopped at Chevron’s Quick Stop across from our luxury accommodations. We ran through there like a bunch of bandits (who’d never seen food before) on a raid. Yeah, six Slim Jims, many liters of water, pre-made sandwiches and bags upon bags of chips should suppress our hunger. Oh, I almost forgot John’s trophy snack: a microwavable cheeseburger. William took one bite of John’s trans-fat delight and said, “That’s not bad for a microwavable cheeseburger.” Then took another bite and another. All we heard for the next 10 minutes was intense commentary on the burger. (Maybe you had to be there or know William.)
With our bed shortage, two people slept in the space between the double beds and our seventh wheel fell asleep by the TV—in the fetal position and woke up in exactly the same place, not having moved an inch. Since we failed to bring sleeping bags or extra bedding, the floor troopers used the nasty bed comforters as a cocoon. They basically were the filling to a burrito with the comforter wrapped completely around them.
I awoke the following morning to John’s strange, mutated snoring, which is rather impossible to describe in words. As the groans and grunts began, we passed around water while recounting our adventures thus far. Meanwhile Mandy offered us a healthy breakfast of leftover Tom’s Hot Fries, and Richard shared a half-eaten Cuban sandwich. I took the first shower to ensure some hot water, but I had to share the bathroom with people brushing teeth, washing faces, etc.
The rest of the weekend passed in the same fashion, as our room looked more and more like a bomb had exploded in it. As I packed Sunday, finding my shoes beneath mounds of dirty clothes and my hairbrush under the bathroom sink made for an early Easter egg hunt. We needed one 20-galloon trashcan to throw our accumulation of junk in. How we had created such a mess, I don’t know. But then again, it’s not every weekend you can have such a blast in a Travelodge!
Keys to successful hotel stay:
- More late-night snacks AND b’fast food than you think everyone can possibly consume…believe me, it’ll be gone in no time
- Extra pillows and towels
- Air mattresses with bedding
- Extra garbage bags